Archive | December 2012

Looking Back

As we approach the New Year it seems normal that we would be thinking about all the things that have happened the last 12 months and all the things that didn’t happen but should have.  I know I am not alone in this quest.  For me the last year was a year of tears.  Tears for losses that can never be replaced.  It has been year of healing for me.  A year of waiting for what? I’m not sure.  In my pain I’ve had the privilege of growing closer to God but not in the way you would think.  I used to think that in order to grow closer to God I had to pray more, meditate more and learn more.  This year I grew closer by allowing people in my life to be the hands and feet of Christ to me.

Prior to this year I had been very independent.  I always had a smile on and could quote the right scripture for just about any situation.  Something was missing though.  I was like the tin man on the Wizard of Oz and lacked a heart.  Don’t get me wrong I wasn’t mean or grumpy.  In fact most people thought I was very friendly and happy on the outside.  What people couldn’t see was the cold steel door encasing my heart.  I was great at helping others in need and being the anchor when tragedy struck, but this year was different.  Through a series of unfortunate events that crippled me to my knees.  I was forced to open that steel door.  Little did I know at the time how much healing it would bring to my malnourished heart.  One by one God brought people into my life to serve me in my time of weakness.  It was through this that I really got to see God at work.  He was working not only in my life but in the lives of those who stepped in to help.  I didn’t see a God of anger or condemnation.  Nor did I see a God who just didn’t care.  In fact he cared so much that even the smallest of details couldn’t have been more perfect.  It has truly been through my weakness this year that He has been strong.

The most valuable lesson I’ve learned is that God loves to show his love for us through people. When we don’t take the courage needed to share with others our hurts and our failures we fail to give God the opportunity to show us just how BIG He really is.

I don’t know what next year holds for me but I sense the winds of change.  They say change is good and after this year I will welcome it.  No my life will never be the same again but neither will anyone Else’s.  The key is to find peace in the moment,  to truly be as you are, where you are with out worry of where you are going or should be.  The truth is you are here.  Take a moment and ask God to show you what he is doing right now in your life and then trust him to know what he is doing.

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I love this and I couldn’t help but think about how this relates to our relationship with God as well. Do we run around trying to please God? Doing what we think he wants or perhaps we think he is not doing things right so we try to redirect him by forcing ourselves into situations that just weren’t meant to be. If we are still and know that he is God we begin to hear him and know him. Then we discover what it is he really wants us to do and we find peace.

Small Potatoes

quietYesterday I was reminded of something. I had a small who was struggling and anxious. She had been out of care for awhile on account of sickness, and was not transitioning back into the routine very well at all. I tried “doing” everything I could think of; all of her favourite activities. We tried painting. We made new playdough. We tried dancing. Yoga. Colouring with markers.  We even pulled out the big guns…Curious George on DVD. Still the anxiety and tears remained. I had run out of things to do. I was at a loss.

I sat down on the big comfy chair and quietly watched her struggling to stay afloat in a situation she clearly didn’t want to be in. And then the light came on.

Shhhh.. Be still for a moment and hear her message.

I wrapped her up in my arms and began asking…

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Truth vs. Reality

Its my life

My Choice

There is no right

There is no wrong

It’s just me and what I want

It’s me and my reality

Whats right to me

Could be wrong to you

 Whats right to you could be wrong to me

 Neither of us are right or wrong

 We just are.

Are you lying if you don’t realize your lying?

Maybe your lying to yourself

Can we lie ourselves into a better reality?

Reality What Is It?

Is it the truth to us?

Truth as we want to see it

Truth today isn’t truth

Its our opinion or perception

So what is Truth?