Archive | April 2013

In Your Sorrow

I want you to know that my prayers are with you

Not just today, not just tomorrow, or next week or even next year.

But for years to come you will be in my prayers.

I know there are no words that can ease your pain

There is nothing I can do to fill the void left behind

The road set before you is difficult and unfair.

The pain inside you is excruciating to bear

 I won’t say that it will go away.

Because it won’t….

Over time though… if you let it

the pain will …. turn bittersweet

I know you can’t see past today right now

and that’s okay

I  just want you to know that I am here and my prayers are with you.

I dedicate this to John and Jane Gray as they grieve the loss of their son Devon who was taken from this world way too early.  May the Lord be with them in the years to come.

Learning To Ride A Bike

These past few months I’ve been disappointed with myself.  I’m sure a lot of people who know me would wonder why. 

The thing is… I’ve been ashamed of how I have reacted to some of life’s circumstances the last 2yrs.  Some people hit hard times and turn to alcohol, drugs, food or even work to numb the pain inside.   I didn’t do any of those instead I just plain and simple tried to give up.  I pleaded with God to let me just come home so I could be safe from the pain inflicted upon me.  The reality of my past and things that I had lived through were just to overwhelming for me.  I was ashamed of things that happened that I had absolutely no control over.  I was hurt, angry and searching for way to escape the pain.  Once I realized I had nothing to be ashamed of the weight I was carrying began to lift and peace began to settle in my soul.

  Our enemy is sneaky and he knows our every weakness.  He knew mine and he attacked with a vengeance.  He began telling me lies…

I should not have fallen like I did into depression. 

I should have been stronger. 

I should have fought harder. 

Where was my faith and trust? 

I must not be good enough because I wanted to quit and God’s children don’t quit. 

I was ashamed because I had been ashamed.  Wow! I must be crazy who else feels ashamed over being ashamed?  Talk about sneaky.  Now there’s my weakness….Never being good enough.  I am a failure! 

God keeps reminding me though  We are all FAILURES!  No one is perfect and that is nothing to be ashamed of.  Every time I fall off the bike and walk away God is there to pick me up and give me a push.  He tells me to keep my eyes up and look ahead at where I am going….not the ground.  He knows I’m going to fall and I know he’s going to be there to pick me up every time.   The day will come though when I can ride my bike right into heaven’s gates. For I know he will be there to welcome me home at last, beaming with the pride of a Father’s love.

Tear Drops for Heaven

Tear drops fall spilling over my heart’s wall

One by one they tell of my heart’s story

Tears of happiness, Tears of sadness

Tears of pain, Tears of shame

Each one is a reflection of my heart’s condition

Don’t stop the tears, Don’t hide the tears

Soak in the moment and feel the emotion

 Before its lost in the ocean

Tears of Tragedy, Tears of Reality

Each one is important, Every one with a purpose

Lessons to be learned, Memories to be made

Crystal clear and uniquely shaped

Each one treasured by the one who created them

Tears of sorrow, Tears of tomorrow

God wants our tears, each and everyone

Tears of laughter, Tears of happily ever after

He collects them in a bottle, he doesn’t miss a one

We must share our tears with loved ones big and small

For our sorrows today may be  sown in pain

But our tears of pain, He turns to gain

From our tears of death to our tears of life

God loves them all the same

And on that day of harvest

We’ll get to enjoy, Our sheaves of joy

Psalm 126 5-7

Those who sow in tears

will reap with songs of joy.

He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow,

will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him.

I believe I sow my tears when I allow others to walk through the trials of life with me.   The longer my pain is hidden within me the uglier it becomes and eventually it comes oozing out in every aspect of my life.  It’s through sharing my pain that I can find healing and I’ve learned it is also an invitation for others to share their wounded hearts to find healing as well.

Inspired by Deb Butler

Written by Monica Thompson

Summer 2012