Talk about a wild winter! Who’s ready for some heat?
I think most everyone is a little tired of this snow and cold.
Everyone except me……
I’ve been quiet on my blog for almost 4 months and I’m sure some are wondering what happened to me. So I thought it was time to share now that I have some answers.
I’ve been on a journey that has not been very fun. Some people in my life have been hurt and I’m terribly sorry for that, but on the flip side I am not sorry for the things I’ve done or said. I know that it must puzzle some of you reading this to try and understand but if you go back to my post titled “Balloons of Hope” you might get a better understanding of what I’m going to share.
I finally succeeded in popping that balloon that just didn’t want to pop. The one you can bounce on ridiculously and it just expands to move the air out a different side. Well I finally popped it and all the others that I thought would help my situation. The only one I had left was God’s balloon and since it was tied to my belt loop there was no escaping when I got into some trouble back in December.
I felt like God picked me by the scruff of my neck and pulled me out of the fire. He then set me down and told me to stop trying to jump over the flames. That is easier said than done when you don’t see another way. God then picked me up and began to carry me back across the burning coals toward the flames. I was terrified as I could see the flames as we began to walk past and sometimes I even feel the heat, but I’m not burned. It’s not always comfortable but Gods got me wrapped up in his arms protecting me as we walk through this furnace. I didn’t create the furnace and neither did God, but I do have to get through it to get to the other side. Sometimes I get anxious and try to do it myself but I’ve learned that if I continue to try to cross this furnace by myself I will keep falling short into the flames and will have to start all over again with a new set of burns.
Fires can be just like the balloons in life. Balloons are good things that come along and give me hope but they can also distract me from my hope in God. The fires though are challenges that can appear much scary than they really are. If I allow my fear to overcome me and try to avoid them I will always wind up smack dab in the middle unable to see. But I do know one thing for sure and that’s that God is faithful and will rescue me every time.
I have had situations in my life where I’ve gotten burned from jumping and I didn’t even realize I was jumping over a situation. That has been my life for the last year or maybe even 2. I didn’t even see the fire or even realize I was crossing it. I could feel it and I knew it was there but I didn’t understand because I couldn’t see. There were a few people in my life that I was screaming at in desperation for help but since I couldn’t see where I was or the danger I was in…. I didn’t know what to ask for. Instead, for the first time in my life, I screamed wildly and out of control lost in the dark billowing smoke. I don’t know if all the people I hurt could see my situation and if they knew where I was but I hope they know that I’m sorry.
It’s taken a long time but I finally found the light. The last 4 months God has been shining the light around showing me just where I have been and what I have been in the midst of. He’s shown me how much danger there has been and how much he has saved me from. So to say that I’m sorry for the things I’ve done would be wrong because if I hadn’t done or said them I wouldn’t know where I am today. I would still be lost, feeling the excruciating pain of the flames I couldn’t see. So if you feel like God’s got you by the scruff of the neck perhaps it’s time to relax and let him lead you out of the fire so he can show you where you’ve been and where you’re going to go.
For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling.