My word for the year was surrender.
And here I am December 31, 2017 and I am surrendering to the fact that I’m not any closer to knowing what I’m going to write than I was on Jan 1, 2017.
I know that true surrender requires me to relentlessly trust God. It was only through trusting God that I was able to surrender anything these last 12 months.
I used to have a negative connotation of the word surrender because I always thought of loss. Like at the end of a battle when the losing side surrenders to the winner or turning over a possession when you can no longer make the payments to the bank. Those are both situations where surrender is not necessarily voluntary but rather forced. This type of surrender leaves me feeling depressed and discouraged.
I’ve realized though that this is not the surrender that God desires from me. He is not forcing me to bring him my problems. I have the choice to keep them and I hate to admit that I do more often than I should. I’ve learned that surrender can be positive as long as I have the right perspective. For example when I surrender my financial information to a trusted accountant to file my taxes. The burden is then off of me and when I transfer the burden to someone I trust it is a relief.
So why is surrender so difficult? Because it requires me to actively trust God and that is so much harder than I would like to admit. Trusting God requires that I believe what the Bible says about God. That God has good plans for me even when it doesn’t look good. So next year my word is believe! I’m going to focus on believing what I know to be true and not on what I feel. I’ve learned that what I believe is more powerful than what I know and if I’m going to be able to surrender some of my burdens I have to believe!