Tag Archive | Hope

How’s Your Month Going?

I picked up my daughter from school and when she got in the car  I informed her that we had to go pick up Star (our cat) from the vet.  She instantly asked why? and I cringed trying to decide how honest I should be.

I went with complete honesty hoping that God would give me the grace and wisdom to guide my 10yr old daughter through more bad news.

I looked at her and told her that I had run over Star pulling into the garage that morning and he took off.

Her face quickly turned to a look of horror and I quickly told her that he was ok and we were going to pick him up.

As I pulled out of the school parking lot I heard her exclaim that February was a crappy month and that she couldn’t wait for March to get here.

I understood more than she knew because I had the same conversation with God early that morning.  I had told God that I thought February was a cursed month for me. I was trying to understand how any good could possibly come from losing our beloved Star.  I knew that I had completely run over him.  I heard the howl and fully expected to have to clean up his body from under the car.  So when he wasn’t there all I could think was that he wouldn’t make it far and would more than likely bleed out somewhere close by.  I tried calling and searching for him not because I thought I could do anything but so I could tell him I was sorry and allow the kids to bury him.  I left the house that morning heart broken trying to figure out how to tell the kids and what exactly to tell them.  I knew that if I ever saw him again it would be a miracle so when I arrived home that afternoon to see him trying to make his way across the driveway to me  I broke down crying.  I scooped him up and went straight to the vet.  I told them what happened and that I couldn’t afford to do a life saving surgery but if by some miracle he had a chance of surviving on his own then I would take him home.  I just didn’t want him to suffer a long slow death so if he was seriously injured and slowly dying I wanted to put him down.  I left the vet that afternoon still trying to figure out what to tell my children.

An hour later I received a call from the vet to inform me that Star had no internal bleeding and doesn’t appear to have any broken bones.  He  is very sore but he is getting around on his own so he should recover.

That’s when I heard God answer my question……..

I turned around and looked at my daughter and said

If all of those crappy things hadn’t happened this month we wouldn’t have had the opportunity to experience God’s miracles for ourselves.  So maybe February is a month of miracles and we are blessed to have had the opportunity to experience them.  Perhaps the greatest thing we can do now is share with others the things that God has done for us.

Her little face softened as she realized the truth of my words and then began talking about our miracles….

Her mom was alive! ( I had 2 car accident’s within 4 days… the second was very serious)

God sent people in our paths to help when we needed it the most.

Her pet baby bearded dragon was alive ( his eye exploded while sitting on her lap and was bleeding out his head)

I don’t know what your month has been like but I hope you can find encouragement and perhaps a new perspective if it has been a difficult one.  Paul warns us of the trials that we will face and reminds us to work at staying faithful and trusting God to know what he’s doing even when we can’t see it.  I’m not worried about next month or even how I’ll replace my cars because what matters most is what I believe about God.

I believe God is good and I hope you do too!

 

 

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Thank You …….For The Little Things……….. That Matter To Me

I heard some dj’s talking on the radio this week and they were asking the listeners when the last time was that they had experienced God? How did I as a listener know that God was real and alive? And what was the evidence that I had seen of his existence?   Now just in case your wondering this was christian radio.

One of the dj’s experienced God’s amazing power over the weekend and he wanted others to share their stories so that other listeners could be encouraged.  So this immediately brought to mind several stories that I have tucked away but since he asked for the most recent one that is the one I will share.

About a month ago my daughter convinced me to let her purchase a baby bearded dragon.  Now I was not crazy about the idea for several reasons.

1   I already feed 3 children and 2 outdoor cats why do I want to add a reptile who eats bugs to the mix?

2   They are creatures that need heat and more than I like to provide in the winter in Ohio.

3   Who is going to pay for it?

4   It means I will have to learn about them…….because I will end up having to take care of it at some point.

Long story short here….. she convinced me when she showed me a video proving that they eat wolf spiders!

I absolutely hate spiders so anything that would take care of them for me becomes my best friend. hmmm (I wish I could put a smiley here but I don’t know how….sad face here!)     This how Maleficent came to be part of our family.

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She is a tiny thing still and loves to be with someone.  If she is left alone too long she gets stressed and I’ve discovered sunlight is much better for her than the lamps you buy at the store.  Because of this I have started taking her around with me particularly when I am outside so that she gets sunlight.  I have learned a lot from this little lizard in the last 4 weeks and have grown quite fond of her.  I’ve wondered why God created this particular creature and his motive or reasoning behind it…..until last Thursday.

I had gotten home from working that morning and I only had a short amount of time to get a lot done before I had to leave again.  I quickly turned on the stove to warm up some food for lunch and then I went and picked up Mel (that’s what we call her for short).  I placed her on my shoulder tucked just under the edge of my jacket since it was a little chilly outside.  I then headed outside to hang some clothes on the line so that they would dry.  I had gotten about half of the basket up when I remembered I had turned on the stove and started my lunch.   I took off running for the house figuring it would be filled with smoke and I would be cleaning my pan instead of eating.  I was blessed and my food was ok…not burnt!

But wait!

Where is Mel?

Crap! What if I dropped her?

I’ve carried her all over and she is really good about hanging on.  But I can’t find her…

I quickly look on the floor between me and the door and no sign.

I run outside to the clothes line looking and calling like she would actually come….(she is too little yet to do that)

I run back inside to stand in front of the mirror.  Maybe she is in my hair and I can’t see her?

I quickly take off my jacket, turn it inside out.  Off goes my shirt and I’m looking in the mirror to see if she is hanging on somewhere and I’m just missing her.

No Mel…..my daughter is going to kill me.

How am I going to find her?

I ran to the front door,  took 3 steps off the side of the porch….then I stopped and look out into the yard.  The path I had taken from the clothes line to the house was covered with leaves.  There were leaves everywhere yellow and brown the same color as her, not to mention she is only 6 inches long.  If she was out there she was going to be difficult to find.  These lizards don’t make noise and I’ve learned that they like to hide.

So I did what I do so frequently when I lose my keys.  I said….. God you know where she is.  You know how important she has become to us.  You know how heartbroken my daughter will be if I don’t find her and you know how sad I will be that it was my fault.  You also know how much fun I have had with her and how she has slowly warmed my heart.  Help me find her please.

I started to turn back to the house and for whatever reason I picked up my left foot.  There underneath my foot was Mel!  She was right in the arch of my foot and her little face was looking up at me.  If she could talk I wondered what she would say.

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That experience had God written all over it.  The first time I ran into the house I kicked off my flip flops…..If I hadn’t done that she would be dead!  But God knew what he was doing.  He knew how impossible finding her in all those leaves were and he also knew how perfectly my foot would land on top of her so that I would find her but that she wouldn’t be hurt.

How perfect is that?

God also answered my questioned….He created them for enjoyment……To play with and have fun.

He also revealed something else…cold blooded animals need warmth to stay warm, they reflect the temperature just like we reflect God.  Without God touching us….giving us light….warming our hearts…..

We would be cold and dead inside.

1John 4: 16-17

And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.

God is love.

Whoever lives in love, lives in God

and God in him.

In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgement

because in this world we are like him.

Crucify Him

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Crucify him, Crucify him

Was the cursing of their hearts

Crucify him, Crucify him

Was the cheer inside my heart

I hear their bitter cries

I can see it in their eyes

Perhaps their hearts were broken

Or blinded by words spoken

Either way its doesn’t matter

For nothing could be sadder

For they were deceived to believe

In a king that wouldn’t be

I know my heart was broken

Perhaps it was even stolen

Surely I was deceived

For believing in the creed

For the life I thought was mine

was never truly mine

He said I had a choice

And at that I surely did

 I chose nothing less than a life full of love

With the gift of eternity and a promise of a family

Now the question left for you

Is what choice will you choose?

Love or hate?

Christ is God’s Love for us

and all he wants from you……..Is your open heart

Who could possibly refuse this gift he left for us?

For we’ll all be bound together

With a life to last forever.

My greatest wish on earth is to see you in forever

Snow Princess

The snow fell soft and sweet

as the tears slipped down her frozen cheek

She raised her arms to give all she had

For the one who says…..her life’s not bad.

He reaches down from heavens gates

Embracing her with arms of grace

He shines his light on the sparkling snow

So she can finally learn to glow.

Each ray of light pierces through the frozen night

Her cheeks grow soft in the glimmering light

Her cold heart melts as she dances all night

For even though she was lost, now she has been found

Not by the people around, but by the one who is crowned

He has found joy in her work and purchased her heart

For she has become a pearl in his heart

A treasure that he protects

He’s taken her pain and set her apart

He’s given her a voice and she knows it’s her choice

She chooses to speak to strengthen the weak

And the illusion of light turns red in the night

For the veils been lifted and the proud brought down

Scruff of the Neck and Out of the Fire

Talk about a wild winter!   Who’s ready for some heat?

I think most everyone is a little tired of this snow and cold.

Everyone except me……

I’ve been quiet on my blog for almost 4 months and I’m sure some are wondering what happened to me.  So I thought it was time to share now that I have some answers.

I’ve been on a journey that has not been very fun.  Some people in my life have been hurt and I’m terribly sorry for that, but on the flip side I am not sorry for the things I’ve done or said.  I know that it must puzzle some of you reading this to try and understand but if you go back to my post titled “Balloons of Hope” you might get a better understanding of what I’m going to share.

I finally succeeded in popping that balloon that just didn’t want to pop.  The one you can bounce on ridiculously and it just expands to move the air out a different side.  Well I finally popped it and all the others that I thought would help my situation.  The only one I had left was God’s balloon and since it was tied to my belt loop there was no escaping when I got into some trouble back in December.

I felt like God picked me by the scruff of my neck and pulled me out of the fire.  He then set me down and told me to stop trying to jump over the flames.  That is easier said than done when you don’t see another way.  God then picked me up and began to carry me back across the burning coals toward the flames.  I was terrified as I could see the flames as we began to walk past and sometimes I even feel the heat, but I’m not burned.  It’s not always comfortable but Gods got me wrapped up in his arms protecting me as we walk through this furnace.  I didn’t create the furnace and neither did God, but I do have to get through it to get to the other side.  Sometimes I get anxious and try to do it myself but I’ve learned that if I continue to try to cross this furnace by myself I will keep falling short into the flames and will have to start all over again with a new set of burns.

Fires can be just like the balloons in life.  Balloons are good things that come along and give me hope but they can also distract me from my hope in God.  The fires though are challenges that can appear much scary than they really are.  If I allow my fear to overcome me and try to avoid them I will always wind up smack dab in the middle unable to see.  But I do know one thing for sure and that’s that God is faithful and will rescue me every time.

I have had situations in my life where I’ve gotten burned from jumping and I didn’t even realize I was jumping over a situation.  That has been my life for the last year or maybe even 2.  I didn’t even see the fire or even realize I was crossing it.  I could feel it and I knew it was there but I didn’t understand because I couldn’t see.  There were a few people in my life that I was screaming at in desperation for help but since I couldn’t see where I was  or the danger I was in…. I didn’t know what to ask for.  Instead, for the first time in my life, I screamed wildly and out of control lost in the dark billowing smoke.  I don’t know if all the people I hurt could see my situation and if they knew where I was but I hope they know that I’m sorry.

It’s taken a long time but I finally found the light.  The last 4 months God has been shining the light around showing me just where I have been and what I have been in the midst of.  He’s shown me how much danger there has been and how much he has saved me from.  So to say that I’m sorry for the things I’ve done would be wrong because if I hadn’t done or said them I wouldn’t know where I am today.  I would still be lost, feeling the excruciating pain of the flames I couldn’t see.  So if you feel like God’s got you by the scruff of the neck perhaps it’s time to relax and let him lead you out of the fire so he can show you where you’ve been and where you’re going to go.

Psalm 27:5

For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling.

New Mornings Light

Peace has found its home deep within my heart

As the new day dawns, each ray of sunshine

Splashes your greatness upon my soul

Words will never do justice for the beauty of your creation

My breath is stolen by the colors of emotion

Colors created and painted by your heart

You delicately paint my life as sweetly as the morning light

You tenderly direct the path you set before me

So I will walk in confidence

For I know your paths are true and right

For they will lead me home to heavens throne

What if I was Jesus?

What if the blind man could see the stars in the sky but fail to see the hands that painted it?

What if the deaf man could hear the sound of whispers yet miss the calls of a loving Father?

What if the paralytic could feel ground but never the arms of a loving Father?

What if the lame could walk on water yet never make it home?

What if the man who could taste the richest of foods could not taste the sweetest of honey?

What if the man who lived the longest was the first to see his death?

What if the strongest man could lift a car but not his own heart?

As Jesus and his disciples were leaving Jericho a large crowd of people followed them. There were 2 blind men on the roadside just outside the city gates. They heard that Jesus was going by and cried out “Lord, Son of David, Have Mercy on Us! The crowd turned to the blind men rebuking them and telling them to be quiet. It was wrong for them to call out to the Messiah for help. Wrong of them to ask for what they so desperately needed. They were not worthy of Jesus’s time. That is what the crowd was saying to these blind men. The 2 blind men wouldn’t listen to the crowd of people instead they shouted louder and louder until they were screaming “Lord, Son of David, Have Mercy on Us!” Jesus stopped and called back to them saying “What do you want me to do for you?” “Lord,” they answered “we want our sight.”

Jesus had compassion on them and he touched their eyes. Immediately they received their sight and they followed him.

How many times have I walked past the city gates and seen the blind, the deaf, the paralytic, the adulteress, the prostitute, the orphans……….How many times have I tossed my coin and kept on walking? How many times have I said to myself “that’s all I am called to do.” How many times have not given it another thought? How many times have I inflated my ego by their misfortune?

Too many! That’s how many.

God showed me a very important message in this small passage.

What does this look like today, in our society? We don’t exactly have city gates, we do have those beggars on street corners with their card board signs. I’m not sure that is the same thing so hear me out on this. What if this little passage was more than just Jesus healing two blind men? What if it is an example of something far more important but shown in a physical way so that we might understand.

What if Jesus was showing us how we as Christians can reach out and touch someone? And no I’m not talking about calling them on the phone, but then again maybe I am. Maybe it is all about “reaching out and touching someone” not in the physical sense as Jesus did but in a relational sense.

Look around you and open your eyes. What do you see? I see a world of broken people. People who are hurting and wounded inside. Many of whom are blind and deaf, but don’t even know it. Some though are blind and deaf but do know it and are crying out for healing. They are even crying out for Jesus to heal them just like those two blind men. What if in order to experience healing they need to experience the touch of Jesus? How does that happen? I’ve been told by so many fellow believers that we are the hands and feet of Christ. If that is true then don’t we have the ability to reach out and touch the hurting? We can’t just touch them where we feel comfortable touching them. Jesus didn’t touch the blind men on the arm or simply shake their hands. He touched their EYES. He touched them in their wounds, where their deepest pain was. He didn’t tip toe around it either. He went straight for the heart of the pain and didn’t waste time.

How many times have I avoided a topic of conversation with a friend simply because their pain made me feel uncomfortable? Or maybe I wasn’t willing to be that person they needed me to be, because I was still hurting. Maybe I am too afraid of experiencing the pain they are in, as if it were contagious. How many times have treated someone like a leper? I know I am guilty just as much as I know I have been treated the same. So this brings me back to the main point. How much suffering is going on in the world around us because we as Christians are unwilling to be the hands and feet of Christ where it really matters? Giving of our hearts and sharing the joy and love we experience within the body of Christ with those that are wounded and hurting.

There are some things in my life that I have never experienced and there are areas of my heart that are deeply wounded. I have cried out in frustration and it seems as if the only response I get is the rebuke of the crowd so I wonder to myself “are they right???? or do I just scream louder?” The two blind men screamed louder but I wonder how long I will have to wait for the hands of Jesus to touch my pain so I might find healing. I always thought that if I prayed for healing for an emotional pain that it should be instantaneous, if I ask for forgiveness I should be able to snap my fingers and move on. I don’t believe it works that way. I believe God brings healing through people who are willing to be used to reach out and “touch” us where we need it. If we are hurt in a relationship it will be a relationship that brings us healing. It might even be a reconciliation of the same relationship or it could be a totally different person filling the same role that brings healing to the soul. I also think that sometimes it takes time because we are all human and we don’t always do what we are told, when we are told to do it.

Wow! That reminds me of obedience.

Moving on to that last little line in the story. Actually it’s not even a line it’s more like a phrase. Immediately they received their sight and they followed him! So if I take the time and the risk, to touch a wounded heart where it is the ugliest….. Healing could be immediate AND they could see the same Jesus that I see and follow me home to our Fathers house.

So now in the words of my Pastor “you think about that!”

The One Thing

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I was sitting at my kitchen table eating dinner with my youngest daughter who is now eight years old.  She is the youngest of my four kids and on this particular night we were on our own since the other three were off with extra curricular activities.  As I sat there watching her eat I began to wonder if I was doing what I needed to with her.  Was I teaching her the most important thing?  I have been so busy in her little life with her siblings that I really haven’t had the time I wish I had.  I have ten years left with her and then she is off to college.

What is the one thing I want to her to know when she leaves?  What is the one thing I would want her to know if I died tomorrow?  What is the one thing I would like her to achieve?  I know these are deep questions to ask yourself over dinner with a little girl but they are questions I think every parent should ask themselves at some point before it’s too late.

I sat there pondering my own questions.  The one thing that I would like her to know before she goes off to college is that God loves her, faults included and will never leave her because he gives her more grace than she could possibly need to cover any mistakes she may make.

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The one thing I would want her to know if I were to die tomorrow…..

That I loved God more than anything in this world and to know that I had an intimate relationship with my Savior.

The one thing I would like to see her achieve…..

I long to see her develop a personal relationship with God that will carry her through life’s worst trials.

Nothing else really matters.

If she goes to college or goes to work.  Does she get married or have kids?  Or how about the harder things like does she drink, smoke or do drugs?  What if she screws up and gets arrested or even pregnant.  It doesn’t really matter because I know that God will use the negative to draw her closer to him and the positive to bless her.

I hear of how some parents have a very difficult time “letting go” of their children. Letting go was something I had to do when I had my first child nearly 17 yrs ago.  I remember that night clearly as if it were yesterday.  It was my first night home from the hospital and I was up feeding her in the middle of the night.  As I sat there looking down upon her tiny little hands, listening to the sweet sound of her breathing I began to wonder what on earth was I thinking?  I had wanted her so badly and now that she was here, I wanted her to die.  The thought mortified me at the time but it made perfect sense…..Here was this baby that I waited in anticipation for nine months and now I had fallen in love with her more than I could have ever imagined.  I wanted her to be safe and I knew that the world was not safe.  In fact I knew that it was a guarantee that she would suffer.  I would not be able to protect her and I loved her so much that I couldn’t stand the thought of watching her in pain.  I prayed that night and asked God to please take her home before anything could happen to her.  I didn’t want her to suffer and I was willing to lose her if that meant she would go to heaven.

God answered my prayer that night.  It was not the answer I wanted but it was an answer.

He said “Monica think about how much you love this child…How much more do you think that I love her?  Do you not think that the one thing I want for her is to come home?  Do you really think that I want to see her suffer?  It is not your right to decide when she comes home.  She is not yours she is mine and I have claimed her from conception just as I have claimed you. I have entrusted you with her for this moment in time and I will protect her because I know you can’t.  I am trusting you with her now so I need you to trust that I know what I’m doing”

That night I let go of all my rights to her and handed them over to God.  I did it with my other three children before they were ever born.  I don’t look at them as my children but as little souls that God has entrusted me with.  I gave all control to God and promised God that I would do my best to do that one thing……To teach them to love God.

So as I sat there at the dinner table with my youngest I was questioning whether I was really doing my best to teach her to love God.  Watching her eat I asked her “Christy who is your best friend?”

She looked at me and nonchalantly said “Elise is Mommy” she paused and said “no! no! she is my second bestest friend”

Curious I was looking at her expecting her to name one of her friends from school.  But she surprised me and said “God is my first best friend!”

I smiled at her and said “your right honey he is the best friend you could possibly have”

I said nothing more.

I may not have had a ton of time to spend with her reading bible stories but what I have done is lived it out for her.  How I have chosen to live my life has had a bigger impact on my children than anything else.  She went to VBS this last week and one of the things the teacher there had her do was write a note telling your Mom what one of her talents are.

I have posted pictures of the little notes I have received from her because they are so much sweeter when you view them in her handwriting.

ImageSimple words that spoke volumes to my heart.

Simple words that told me what her heart sees

Simple words are all it takes!

But Where Mommy?

Faith that can move mountains!

What does that look like?

Every time I think I’ve figured it out I find myself in a situation that requires even more faith.  I used to think that I had a lot of faith and could weather any storm God allowed to cross my path. Don’t get me wrong.  My life wasn’t easy, but I had grown used to some of life’s rotating struggles and every time they came back around it got easier and easier to trust God. I had fallen into this comfortable little rut in my walk with God and eventually God said “enough!  It’s time to crawl out of your rut and start moving again.”  At first I didn’t mind because the road was straight and easy.  However it didn’t last long before the hills and curves came, and then my faith really began to get a workout.   A few months ago I was really struggling with not having enough faith.  I just didn’t think I had enough faith for what God had placed in front of me.  I would waver back and forth between “God’s got it covered” and total freaked out panic thinking ” What in the world am I going to do?”  I would be going through every possible scenario in my head of how I could possibly fix the situation.  The problem with my solutions was that they were all practically impossible.  Every time I would set out with a plan, it would get squashed. Finally at the last second everything would some how all fall into place at the perfect time.  I cannot tell you how many times that has happened to me and yet here I am panicked.  The thoughts going through my mind are not healthy ones and I will be the first to admit that. I should have a grasp on this with all the things God has done for me and I try to remind myself of all those things but this time it’s different.  This time its not the loss of work, or the loss of a car, or what ever the challenges prior may have been so…. its different….or so I think..

On the outside if anyone asks I seem calm, collected and as if everything is under control.  I can tell everyone I have faith and that I believe God’s got it under control,  but somewhere deep down inside there is a whisper that haunts me.  Its begging the question “is God really going to come through for me?  What if he doesn’t?  What if I don’t like his solution?  why am I struggling with this?”  Then I think I shouldn’t be struggling with this and I am such a weak christian because I am questioning God.  Questioning God…. who am I to question his ways?  Then that horrible feeling that I try to ignore because I know in my head its not true but it feels true.  I am a complete failure.  I shouldn’t be an example to anyone why do people even look up to me?  These are all lies and I know this.  But honestly not believing them is really hard.  I am not going to lie to you.  Telling myself the truth everyday over and over is the hardest thing I do because every time I turn around there is something going on that causes me to question my faith in God.  Then to add to my own struggle to hang on to what little faith I can muster up.  The enemy comes along with tempting little solutions that I know are just wrong.  But hey…everyone else is doing it.  Gods grace has me covered Right??? I really don’t want to do it and deep down I don’t think I could, so even struggling with the thoughts can be completely horrifying.  I just never understood why people did some of the crazy things they do.  The harder life gets though the more I understand and can have empathy for those who have given in to those temptations.   I can have momentary lapses in judgement when I’m panicked and wonder “what in the world am I doing?”  that is what grace is for.  God knows exactly how much I can handle and he may let me get right to the edge of the cliff but he never lets me fall.

Today was a rough day.  People who I thought were there and cared for me…bailed and then the enemy made a surprise attack and I lost hope.  Hope in people that is.  God reminded me though that my hope is in him and not people, not even respectable, good, safe, christian people.

Ps 62:5

Find rest O’ my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him alone.

I meditate on this verse as I think of what it looks like in action.  What does it look like when I hope in God?  Perhaps it’s resting in knowing that I can’t do it but at the same time not worrying about how God is going to do it.  I’m told I just need the faith of a mustard seed and that I know I have.  But what do I do while I wait for God to do his thing?  I think my daughter gave me the answer to this one tonight.

I had just finished bedtime prayer with her and she asked me “Mommy do we have to move?”  I told her “yes, we have to move”

“But where to?” her brows all furrowed up with concern

“I don’t know” I sigh in response

“Mommy I don’t want to be homeless” she whispers softly, her little voice cracking as she holds back her tears.

My heart breaks as I know her pain and worry all to well.

” Do you know the birds in the trees?”  I ask and she nods yes

“If God can provide homes for them don’t you think he can provide a home for us?”

“but where Mom? we can’t live outside” she asks

“I don’t know honey but I do know that God knows”

she looked at me with a smile and said “He has the perfect house, at the perfect place, at the perfect time for us.”

I smiled at her and said “yes dear he does”

with that she rolled over and went right to sleep.  As I sat there watching her as she breathed, looking so calm and innocent, God whispered in my heart and said “Child like faith” That’s it!  Being able to talk to God and hear his truth, accepting it without questioning it.  She had such trust and faith that she could let her worries go and fall to sleep as if I just told her that if it rains we’ll move the party inside no big deal!

knowing where I’m going to live might be a big deal to me but to God its as easy as moving the party inside when it rains.  I don’t know where I’m going and every time someone asks me what I’m going to do.  I have been telling them I don’t know but I do know that God will have the perfect place at the perfect time for the perfect price.  My daughter’s been listening and she spoke back to me my own words of life giving faith in the one God that can do anything.

So tonight even though the storms will rage outside my window I will sleep.  I will sleep, because I have quieted the voice inside of me that questions the validity of my God and his desires for me.