Why do we suffer? I have beaten myself up over this for a long time. If I’m God’s child why does he allow all this pain in my life? Why does it seem like I’m getting an unfair share. People tell me how wonderful I am and that they are sorry all these bad things that keep happening. Why do bad things happen to good people? Am I doing something to deserve this? I wonder how much more I can possibly take? Just when I think I can’t take anymore pain there comes another wave. Its always something that I can’t control. If your a God of mercy then where is my mercy? I’m supposed to hold my head up high in faith that he has everything under control. He has a plan and it is good. It doesn’t feel good. Keep going, keep walking, be patient, wait. That is what I hear. That is so not what I want to do.
I’m bleeding from the inside out
The blood I’ve cried will never run dry
My heart may stop but life goes on.
My pain is not in vain not that any man can know
My Savior is here holding me close
He’s all I need, but not all that I want
For now I will take comfort in knowing he knows my needs
I will continue to kill the desires with in me that seek to destroy me.
Lord, carry me from my sinking sand
Bring me to your rock of salvation
I can’t do it, I don’t have the strength
So carry me please to the shelter of your wings
free me from the enemies snare
so I can find peace in your arms
Nothing in this life is mine
I am worthless with out you
I’m not giving up
just surrendering all that I am for you
The only thing I can do is give you my heart the only way I know how.
God, you showed me mercy on the cross.
That is the only mercy I need.
The suffering I endure on earth is nothing compared to the suffering you endured on the cross.
Who am I to complain.
No life may not be fair but then you never said it was.
In fact you promised that if I chose to follow you I would suffer.
Should I feel honored for having to endure so much.
Your promises are true even if I never see them this side of heaven.
Even through my tears I see you.
I see you in the sunrise.
I feel you in the stormy skies.
I hear you in my babies cries.
I know you in the worst surprise.
I can run but I can’t hide.
You are there speaking to me, not letting me go.
It is through my pain that you have ransomed my heart
The pain is the bait you hook me with
with out it I might never bite
where would I be then
lost at sea in an ocean of false hopes
For the things of earth will pass away but your word is everlasting.
Your word is the truth that frees my soul
In you I will trust
In you I will find peace
In you I will be made whole